Hayden favorited a photo by Hillary B on Feb 19, 2011.
Hayden
Posts
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fear binds, doubt binds, and complacency gags.
I will not be blinded,
silenced,
or bound.
I'll light it aflame and watch it burn.
I will return.
weakness bites down and the venom spreads
the body numbs
and succumbs
and the fire of my spirit that burned hot
is replaced by a new heat
a burning pain that makes me cautious
i've always been a lover
passionate
unstoppable
but now i'm also a fighter
battling for a day when I will finally
love myself. -
My brother is officially getting married this August 21st!! I got to go see the church yesterday and it is beautiful! I'm so excited for him!
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commented on a post by Hayden on May 10, 2010.
thank you both so much for your support with my poetry. I have been studying at a place for so long that seems to suppress my creativity in so many ways and i've used PTL as a way of breaking back out and gaining confidence with my own creativity again. You two have been so wonderful and so important in helping me out of that shell. Thank you!!! xoxo
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i wish I could say
the words deep in my heart
I wish you would stay
and we'd never part
i can't sleep at night
you're leaving so soon
i want to keep your light
in a safe cocoon.
I love you so much
my heart will burst
to feel your touch
is for what i thirst.
shelter me
in your loving embrace
and i will be
in my safest place. -
commented on a photo by Hayden on Apr 7, 2010.
yeah i am mesmerized by water too - i'm a rower :) I used to wake up at 4 am and go to practice and we would come around this bend in the river an hour into our workout and the sun would be rising over a mountain top. The sun would just hit the back of my neck and warm me to my core because it was always so cold outside and it was so breathtakingly beautiful. I miss that river so much but that's what i think about whenever I see a sunrise.
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Hayden favorited a photo by Jessie Marie on Apr 7, 2010.
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I think the beauty in nature is mother earth's way of telling us that she loves us.
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http://fineartamerica.com/imag...
spring comes with such hope. It was beautiful today and the trees had blossomed, i smelled fresh cut grass, the daffodils were blooming and the sun was shining. It feels like a new beginning.
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For winter's rains and ruins are over,
And all the season of snows and sins;
The days dividing lover and lover,
The light that loses, the night that wins;
And time remembered is grief forgotten,
And frosts are slain and flowers begotten,
And in green underwood and cover
Blossom by blossom the spring begins. -
commented on a photo by Account Deleted on Apr 2, 2010.
you are so wonderful. Thank you so much :) Love you too!
xox -
commented on a post by Hayden on Apr 2, 2010.
You know Amy, your post has stuck with me and I am using the belief that he felt peace to comfort me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your post. I just keep hoping and praying that he felt peace and freedom and relief as he fell. That he had no regrets. Thank you for your comment. Your openness and honesty has brought me comfort and I really appreciate it.
To everyone - than you so much for all your support and thoughts and prayers. I don't feel alone going through this and I know that is ...
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commented on a post by Hayden on Apr 2, 2010.
thank you so much for all your support. I couldn't get through this without you all. all my love to you all.
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commented on a post by Hayden on Apr 2, 2010.
Thanks for your support. The only peace I can find is to remind myself that he isn't hurting anymore, that he is free of whatever torture he endured and hid from us all. xxoxo <3
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I know this place is a place for love and beauty and sharing and freedom. I am sorry to be posting my sadness and sharing it with you. I suppose it is also a kind of love. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all your support. It is hard to talk about it here with everyone else because everyone is saddened. I need to get it out though and PTL has been a really great outlet for me. Thank you for understanding and being supportive. I don't know what I would do without this site right ...
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Dear Cameron,
I know you are gone. If i didn't know it seeing photos of yellow tape and police around your body have forced me to acknowledge that it isn't all just a bad dream. How could you do it? How could you jump? Why didn't you listen to the security guard telling you not to jump? Why didn't he restrain you to save you? Why didn't you seek help? Why didn't you tell someone how much you were hurting? Why did this happen? Why aren't you here? Why aren't you smiling ... -
It fills me up
this wordless sorrow
consumes me
I put my pen to paper
i need to get it out
try to process what is real
but how can i explain
or accept
how you left
and the fact that you are gone.It was a beautiful, warm
sunny spring day today
i thought I saw you playing frisbee
on the freshman quad
but you are gone.
did you see the sun?
did you feel the warmth, wherever you are?
Do you regret not being here,
not feeling the hope of spring?The day you left
it was dark ... -
I've been crying all day. I can't stop. I just can't believe Cameron took his own life. I can't believe that he jumped from the 86th floor of the empire state building. All I hope, all i keep thinking is that in that fall from the edge of the observation deck to the ground that he found peace and relief. I pray that he didn't not feel terror, regret, or pain but instead what he was searching for, a relief from whatever the burden was that he carried. I'll never know, and I don ...
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i'm sorry for this, but I don't know what to do with myself right now. I just found out how Cameron Dabaghi, my friend, died yesterday. Apparently he jumped off the 86th floor of the empire state building. I can't imagine how scared he was and I am devastated by this news. My heart just aches for him and his family. I know we weren't really close but i feel like i should have done something, I should have asked him how he was, tried harder. I know it's not my fault but I would ...
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I found out, literally about 15 minutes ago that a friend of mine killed himself yesterday. I cant begin to express my sorrow. I would never have guessed it, he was a sweet, easy going guy who would always hold the door and give you a smile. I'm crushed and I just needed a place to express that so here i am. Please keep him in your thoughts and remember how important sharing love is. xo
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It's not poetic, it's not unique, it's not perfect, it's not new, it's not loud, but it is. It is simple. I love you. I haven't posted in a while, and I wanted to say something to you all but I didn't know what to say. But then, "i love you" is perfect isn't it? I think sometimes we forget what that means, what that simple phrase embodies. I love you, all of you, for loving freely and openly, unabashedly, boldly, and without abandon. Don't forget what it means. don't ...
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Hayden favorited a photo by BrysonsMama on Mar 9, 2010.
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